THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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