Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
