I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
