Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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