I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
