Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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