last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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