Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
