Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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