omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
