Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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