I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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