How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
