I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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