im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
They have beer where we have blood.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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