i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
