that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
try to milk me bitch
Randomize