I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
How naked do you want me to be?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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