Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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