Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
