I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize