I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
