Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
