Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
