no, he came in my armpit
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
