Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
