i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
