erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
3pm strippers are depressing
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
