maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
