Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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