he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
