I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize