wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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