Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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