I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
