Where are you?
In a non slutty way
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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