i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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