She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
