It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize