Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
