How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
