she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
