we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
