# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
