I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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