Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
