You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
