She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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