Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
