the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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