Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
