The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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