We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
