Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
