i already hear my dad disowning me
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
