A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
