It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
