It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
