he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize