No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize