i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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