Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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