Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
