Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
