my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
