Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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