There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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