Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
