so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
