oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
