sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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