The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize