Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
